Saturday, June 18, 2011

Setbacks And How To Handle Them

Setbacks are a part of life - "IT HAPPENS". Make firm in your mind your alternate course of action when this situation arises and above everything else, stay on your feet and take it all in stride. You will loose much less than if you were to sit back and gloat about it. - MJ

There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life's hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point here to remember is that "Nobody can hurt you without your consent." The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that YOU let the problem create on you. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It's purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.

There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. Maybe you have a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce. You were not chosen for your College football team; or you may have been laid off. There can be a lot of pain involved in any situations wher you feel a sense of loss and disappointment. But you don't necessarily have to suffer. You can arise and resolve to get back your confidence!

The following ways can help you do just that:

Take a look at the "Bright Side"

If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but that's it. Losing a job is a pretty bad thing, but it's not the end of the world. Who knows it just may be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you've got some time to review your life, to become aware of where you are going, Have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. This could be an opportunity to start again and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and your aptitude. Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then again, you weren't too happy in your marriage either. Now you have the chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

Don't compare yourself with other people

Stop looking at other people who seem happy and comfortable to you. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering. This can only frustrate you even further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you to go out when you are feeling down. Self-pity is addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a brand new start. And don't be bogged down when you hear "NO". A "NO" is something which greats like Edison and Ford, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each "NO" actually takes you closer to a "YES." It's been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So take the the occasional no in stride.

Stop standing in your own way

Shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunlight. In our lives as well, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today's world, it is important to be flexible. Many people will look for a job for months, yet reject work coming their way because they aren't willing to adapt to some new job requirements. Julie, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months, to get a job as a teacher while turning dowm opportunities such as taking private tuitions or doing copywriting work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly, which in turn will brings enough energy to get an even better job in the field of your choice!

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